


i'm making this up as i go

by platonicunicorn



Series: it just takes a little patience [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor Lives AU, Connor's babysitting, Domestic af, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I had to remedy this as best I could, Kid!Fic, M/M, Trans!Connor, babysitter!connor, background galaxy gals, but mostly just implied, deh has like no kid fics y'all, fuckin larry, is that a tag, soft!connor, whatever it is now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-10 03:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11683326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonicunicorn/pseuds/platonicunicorn
Summary: Evan sits in the park sometimes, to give his mom a break, or to look at the trees and think about life, or occasionally to just eat lunch. He never thought he'd run into Connor Murphy there, of all people. He definitely never thought he'd run into Connor Murphy there, with a baby.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this on my phone at 2am and i should actually be working on a fic for a different fandom entirely but fuck it. treebros was calling and i have no self-control enjoy.
> 
> tw: anxiety attack mentioned/briefly described

Evan stares at the scene on the playground in front of him, trying to decide if he's hallucinating. He doesn't think he is— his readjusted meds are working pretty well, and there haven't been any incidents so far— but he's having a hard time believing his eyes.

Connor Murphy, the guy from school that everyone is terrified of and who once threw a printer at a teacher, is standing there in front of a swing.

Pushing a baby.

"It's not mine," is the first thing that Connor blurts out when he sees Evan staring at him.

Evan's eyes go wide. "Uhh, sorry, I didn't- I mean, of course it's not, why would it be, you're not- um. I mean. I just. Sorry." He knows he's turning bright pink, he can feel it, and Connor's looking at him like a deer in headlights and he's totally freaked out by Evan just staring at him—

But Connor doesn't say anything about how creepy Evan is, just turns a little pink himself and looks down at the baby in the swing in front of him with something resembling affection, which Evan has never seen the likes of on Connor Murphy's face before.

"My cousin's in town," he explains. "Zoe was supposed to be the one to babysit her kid, but she ran off with Alana for something, or whatever, so now..."

"Now you're stuck with her— I MEAN," Evan cuts himself off immediately, wincing at how terrible that sounded. "I mean, not stuck with her, she's cute and I'm sure she's really sweet and probably totally worth babysitting and oh my god I'm sorry."

Connor laughs once, harsh, and Evan is mortified. "No, no, you're kind of right. I didn't have a choice or anything." He pauses to smile at the baby, and pushes her swing a little higher. In response, she coos happily. "But it's really not so bad," he adds. "She's well-behaved, at least. And pretty damn smart."

Evan sort of stands there for a minute in silent awe, because this is Connor Murphy in front of him, swinging a ten-month-old-ish baby at a public park, and looking... happy about it. Jared would never believe this had actually happened.

Not that he plans on telling Jared or anything, but like, even if he did, Jared wouldn't believe him anyway, so it would be pointless to try in the first place—

Instead of word-vomiting everything currently running through his brain, Evan asks, "What's her name?"

Connor looks up at him. "What, no 'who'd let the freak near their kid' or 'you'd be a terrible influence on children' comments?"

Evan blanches. "No! No, no, of course not! I- I just wondered- sorry, I didn't mean to- I'll leave now, anyway, sorry-"

He takes an aborted step backward, ready to retreat, but Connor shakes his head. "No, it's my fault. I keep forgetting you're different than all the other assholes in our grade." He sighs. "Her name's Abby."

"That's- that's a pretty name," Evan chances, and he's relieved when Connor smiles that soft smile from earlier again.

"Yeah, named after some distant relative I've never heard of or cared about, but I think it suits her."

Abby smiles at Connor like she can fully understand the compliment and holds her hands out to grasp in his general direction. He pulls the swing to a stop and lifts her out of the seat.

As soon as Connor has a grip on her, her tiny hand latches on to a chunk of his hair. Connor grimaces, but surprisingly lets her pull on it without complaint.

"That- doesn't look comfortable?" Evan comments, and then berates himself because obviously it's not comfortable, she's yanking his hair out, way to go, what an insightful person he is—

"It's- ow- it's fine. I think she's the only person in my family who likes my hair, I figure I shouldn't complain."

And he says it so sincerely, so cheerfully and with such a genuine look of affection in his eyes as he glances at Abby when he says it that Evan can't help it— he laughs.

It's only once, but it's loud and probably startling, and Connor and Abby turn to look at him simultaneously. For a horrifying second, he thinks Abby might start crying— but instead, she laughs. Just once, like he did, mimicking the sound. And then that makes Connor laugh, which surprises Evan into laughing again, and suddenly the three of them are giggling in the middle of a playground and Evan has no idea how his life got to this point but he can't find it within himself to complain.

And he also really, really likes the sound of Connor's laugh- the real one, not the cynical sarcastic laugh that he always does when Jared or someone says something stupid or unfunny, or when he's feeling particularly self-deprecating.

Abby starts pulling on Connor's hair again, still laughing up a storm. Connor delicately tries to extricate her fingers from the strands, but to no avail. "Alright, shit, I'll pay more attention to you, what?"

Abby looks happy that he's focused on her once again and she puts her hand up to her mouth.

"You hungry?" Connor says, and Abby repeats the motion. "Okay, great, I'm pretty sure your mom packed applesauce in your bag or something, if you can't wait til lunch—"

He turns around to look at the ground by the bottom of the swing set, which confuses Evan because there's not actually anything there.

Connor seems to realize that as well, because he slaps the hand that isn't holding Abby against his forehead. "Shit shit shit," he mumbles forlornly. "It's still in Zoe's car. Oh my god."

Abby frowns at him, not understanding the words but gleaning the sentiment behind them. She puts her hand to her mouth again, more forcefully this time.

Connor looks at her with pleading eyes. "I know, I know, but I don't have any snacks with me, you have to wait til we get home or something, okay?"

And Abby apparently decides that this is not, in fact, okay, because her face crumples and she opens her mouth and a terrible piercing cry comes out.

Evan can feel the eyes of every single parent at the playground turn to look at them judgingly as Connor tries to shush her and fails. He can tell Connor is panicking, and he feels the same until he remembers: he's still got his lunch in his backpack.

"Oh! Hold on!" he says, quickly turning back to where he left his pack and digging through it, emerging moments later with an assuming paper bag. Abby's still crying as he opens it, but Connor's looking at him suspiciously as he continues to bounce her.

It only takes him a moment to find what he's looking for— a plastic fork and a banana half. He pulls them out and peels the banana, then uses the fork to cut a few thin slices off the end. He rests the paper bag and the unused portion of banana on his backpack, and rushes back to hold the slices out in front of Abby like a peace offering.

Abby stops crying, though still sniffling, and reaches out a hand to clumsily grab the fruit from Evan. Connor just looks on, quietly amazed.

Abby investigates the banana slice in her hand, looking at it closely, thoroughly suspicious, and then shoves it in her mouth. Before she's even done chewing, she holds her sticky empty hand toward Evan and grasps, signaling for more.

Evan happily hands her another piece, and she chews on it contentedly.

Connor is silent.

Evan pauses. "Uh. I probably should have- oh my god, she's not allergic to bananas or anything, is she? I'm so sorry, I didn't even ask, I hope that was okay, it's just she said she was hungry and then she was sad and everyone was glaring at you like you were a bad parent or something which was totally uncalled for, by the way, because you seem like an awesome parent- I mean, not parent, but, like, babysitter—"

Connor ignores his rambling. "Thank you," he says, visibly relieved. "You're a lifesaver, Evan."

"Ebban," Abby repeats, through a messy mouthful of mushed banana, and Evan melts a little bit inside.

"I- uh, no problem, I just- I usually bring my lunch to the park and so I had it with me, I just thought I could... share," he finishes lamely. He's definitely blushing again, god, what kind of pathetic loser blushes this much in front of a guy they hardly know and a baby? "It's no problem," he repeats, and then turns to pick up his backpack and make his exit before any of this can get worse—

Which, of course, sends the uneaten banana half and the rest of his lunch flying straight into the wood chips, because Evan had already forgotten they were on top of the bag like the utter moron he is.

He can feel the tears start to prick at his eyes in frustration, and isn't that just perfect, because now Connor will have even more reason to laugh at him than before, and he'll never want to be seen in public with Evan again because seriously, how lame do you have to be to drop your lunch everywhere after just putting it down—?

Evan feels a warm hand rest on his arm before he can run away.

"Hey, shit, you okay?" Connor says. "Do you want me to—"

"No, no, I'm fine, I've got it, I'm so sorry, you probably think I'm the dumbest person alive right now, haha," he says as he bends over to pick up the unsalvageable, wood-chip-covered remains of his meal and toss them in the nearest park trash can.

"I don't think you're dumb," Connor tells him, and when Evan gets the courage to make eye contact again, Connor is frowning at him in concern. "Was-was that all you had for lunch?"

Dumbstruck and still holding his backpack awkwardly, Evan just nods pathetically.

Connor looks at Abby like he's confirming something, then back at Evan. "Okay. Then in that case, you're coming to lunch with us."

"I- what?" Evan says.

"I just decided, we're going to lunch," Connor repeats. "Abby wants food, I want food, and now you don't have any food because you tried to help us out. So I'm buying you lunch, and probably ice cream while we're at it."

"Lunch!" Abby parrots excitedly.

"Oh, I couldn't—" Evan tries to protest, but apparently puppy eyes run in the family because Connor and Abby are giving him identical looks.

"D'you have somewhere to be?" Connor asks. "Anyone waiting on you?"

Evan shakes his head. "Well, uh- no. My mom's at work. I was just gonna... stay here, for a while..."

Connor smiles at him again and shit, that makes it really hard to say no. "So you're free, then. And I can buy you lunch. Did you drive here?"

"No, I walked," Evan says.

"Great, I'll give you a ride," Connor says, and Evan is extraordinarily lost, because when is this something that happens to him? When do cute guys- because yeah, okay, Connor Murphy with his long hair and his ever-present black hoodie and a fricking baby is pretty damn adorable and Evan is really bi, sue him- ask Evan out to lunch? When do they all but demand Evan join them, even if entirely platonically?

"I- I- okay?"

Yeah. His previous statement still stands. Jared's never going to fucking believe this.

Connor starts walking toward the parking lot and Evan doesn't even realize he's following until he's standing by the passenger door of Connor's car.

"I'm such an idiot," Connor complains, pulling open the backseat door with one hand and balancing Abby on his hip. "I can remember to grab the fucking car seat, but the diaper bag was too much ask—"

He mostly seems to be talking to himself, so Evan doesn't try to reassure him or anything. He watches as Connor carefully straps Abby into a seat that honestly looks way more complicated than it needs to be.

He pulls her fingers out of his hair once again when he's finished, shutting the car door carefully to make sure none of her limbs will get caught in the door.

Evan realizes he's been staring again when Connor stands up to open the driver's side door and raises an eyebrow when he sees Evan still standing there and not yet in the car. Evan flushes and moves to take his seat so fast that he bangs his head against the doorframe.

"Shit, are you okay?" Connor asks immediately, ducking down into the car and leaning over the center console, trying to see if Evan is bleeding or something equally embarrassing.

"That's the second time you've had to ask me that in ten minutes," he says back, holding his hand against his injury. "I'm fine, it'll just bruise, probably. I hope I didn't dent your car or anything."

"Dude," Connor snorts, settling back into his seat and turning the ignition. "I don't give a shit if you dented the car. My parents would probably just look at me all disappointed and then buy an entirely new one without even asking what happened. Don't worry about it."

From the way Connor goes quiet as soon as the words have left his mouth, Evan can tell that he regrets saying it out loud, though Evan has no idea which part he's embarrassed of.

"Oh, okay, sorry. Uh. Where- where are we going to eat?" he asks, in a clumsy attempt to change the subject.

Connor looks grateful, and his frown turns back into a tiny smile. "Well, it's no fun if I tell you, Hansen," he teases. And Evan kind of short-circuits, because Connor Murphy just teased him, and called him by his last name like it was some sort of friendly nickname, and smiled at him again, and he thinks he might be having heart palpitations. He should really get that checked out when he has the chance.

In the back, Abby giggles in her car seat.

\---

"Pizza," Evan says, reading the sign above the building in front of them. "Hipster pizza."

"What, I'm not allowed to have taste?" Connor asks blandly.

"No, no, it's fine," Evan assures him quickly. "I just- I wasn't expecting...actual lunch, much less a fancy pizzeria. I kinda thought you'd actually end up taking me to a ditch on the side of the road and murdering me or- or something."

Connor shrugs and turns off the car. "It's not fancy. And don't worry, murdering comes later. Figured you'd want a nice meal first, at least." When Evan doesn't say anything in response, he adds, "I'm kidding, Hansen. Jesus." Then, a wry smile: "But don't be suspicious if the pizza tastes like chloroform."

"Honestly, I don't know what that tastes like?" Evan says. "So I mean, I wouldn't actually be able to tell—"

Connor gets out of the car and starts unstrapping Abby from her car seat. "Are you coming?"

Evan extracts himself from his seatbelt and exits the car, standing upright outside it by the time Connor is holding Abby in his arms. With a flick of his wrist, Connor points the keys and locks the car behind them.

"I won't drug your pizza if you hurry up," he promises, and Evan rushes into the restaurant behind him.

Abby's face lights up the moment they step inside, whether from the aroma of fresh-baked crust and artisan cheese and organic tomatoes or just the sight of people shoving food in their mouths, Evan doesn't know.

"Fair warning," Connor says, just loud enough that Evan can hear him over the ambient conversational noises. "They like to pretend they don't have pepperoni pizza because it's 'too mainstream' or whatever, but they actually do, so don't worry. It's not on the menu. You just have to ask."

Evan knows he's turned redder than the tomato sauce when he replies, "I- um, thanks? But I don't- I mean, I can't- um. I. Um."

"What?"

"I'm Jewish," Evan blurts.

Silence. For a solid ten seconds, neither of them say anything. Abby is preoccupied with looking at people's window reflections to notice the sudden awkwardness between the two.

"...okay?" Connor says warily.

"Uh, so," Evan says, "I can't. Uh. Have pork. Which pepperoni is made of. I mean! Usually! It could be kosher pepperoni pizza, I mean, right? It's a weird hipster place, that's totally a possibility, oh my god I could have just asked instead of- you probably don't care at all, oh god—"

"They also just... have cheese," Connor interrupts.

Evan wants to die. The actual ground can go ahead and swallow him at any time now. "That makes sense. Sorry. Uh."

"You apologize too much, Hansen," Connor says, shaking his head. "Here, take her for a sec, go find a seat. I'll go order so you don't have to deal with talking to people."

And then Connor's shoving Abby into his arms and before Evan can even protest or ask how he knows Evan hates talking to people (because on second thought, that one's pretty obvious), Connor's pushing his way through a crowd of indecisive millennials to the front counter.

Which leaves Evan holding a baby, alone, to find a booth that they can pull a high chair up to. Thankfully, one of the probably-underpaid waitresses sees him and takes pity, grabbing a chair and placing it in front of the nearest booth so Evan doesn't have to hassle with it at the same time as holding Abby.

"Th-thank you," he manages, and the girl smiles wearily at him.

"No problem, hon," she says, then walks off to fill up some demanding customer's drink.

Evan straps a wiggling Abby into the chair in what he hopes is the correct way to keep her still and then slips into the booth beside her and rests his forehead on the table. "Oh my god," he says.

Abby nods at him wisely. "Ohm gah."

He looks back up at her. "How has this become my life?" he asks, like she might actually have an answer.

She smacks her hand on the table, amused by the sound it makes. Evan nods, as if this is an insightful observation into his problems. "I'm in a fancy pizza place with Connor Murphy. I'm out in public, and I'm with Connor Murphy, and we're eating lunch together," he tells her. "Oh god," he adds, suddenly realizing something terrible. "What if someone from school sees us? What if they think- what if they think this is a date? What if th-they think m-me and him are- are dating, or that we're together, or what if they think you're like, our kid, oh my god—"

"Don't worry," Connor's voice says darkly from behind him. "No one from school is ever here. Your precious reputation is safe with me."

Evan nearly falls out of the booth when he jumps at Connor's sudden appearance. "I- shit, I mean, sorry, that's definitely not what I meant at all—"

Connor sits down across from him, a contemptuous frown marring his face. "Yeah, no, I get it. Can't be seen in public with the freak. As soon as the pizza's done, you're free to go. Whatever. I never should have invited you. God, you're just like the rest of them, aren't you?"

Evan honestly doesn't know what to say to that. Doesn't know if he can say anything, even if he did, because his throat is closing up on itself and he can feel the familiar tightness in his chest building quickly and he cannot have an anxiety attack here, this is the worst possible time, when Connor's angry at him and Abby is right there, looking at him all worried like she knows he's not okay.

"I- I- I-" he tries, but no discernible words come out.

"Whatever," Connor says again, this time to the table instead of looking at Evan.

The same waitress that helped Evan with the high chair before appears in front of them with a tray. "One large cheese pizza," she announces with a practiced smile.

Connor hardly spares her a glance as she sets it down and he says "Thanks," absently.

The waitress catches Evan's eye just before she turns to leave, frowning at the obvious panic in his eyes. "You alright there?" she asks gently. "Do you want some water?"

Evan nods vigorously and the waitress smiles sympathetically. "Okay, just one sec, hon." She heads back to the kitchen.

As soon as she's gone, Connor sneers at him. "What're you waiting for?" he demands. "If you're so desperate, just take the free food and go. Every second you stay here, someone you know could see you, and that'd just be fuckin' terrible, wouldn't it? Being seen with me?"

Evan takes a choked breath, then another, until he's established a reasonably steady pattern. He can feel his heartbeat slowing back to normal. And in a burst of bravery that comes entirely out of left field, he whispers, "That's not what I said, though."

Abby hums in agreement. Connor looks incredulously at her, then Evan. "What?"

"I said, that's not what I said." He frowns at Connor. "I never said I didn't want to be seen with you.

"You started freaking out because someone might think we were here together!" he protests. "What was I supposed to think?!"

"Seriously?" Evan says. "I was freaking out because I didn't want anyone to think you were- you were friends with some loser like me! I- it's not that I don't want to be here with you!"

Connor freezes.

Abby smacks the table.

"I-what?" he says, breathless.

"I- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have said that, I'm so sorry, Connor," Evan says, dragging his hand down his face. "I'll just. Go." He stands up to leave.

Abby frowns. "Way," she says.

"Wait," Connor says, whether to translate Abby's plea or because he actually wants Evan there, Evan doesn't know.

"You're not a- you're not a loser, Evan," Connor says. "You're- you gave Abby your lunch and you missed like eight opportunities to call me a freak and you agreed to let me take you out even after I said all that weird shit in the car? And Abby seems to love you, and you called my favorite pizza place 'hipster' but somehow in the nicest way possible, and you keep blushing— yeah, just like that!"

Evan, apparently having already started blushing, again, blushes even harder. "I-"

"At nothing!" Connor continues, like Evan hasn't said anything. "And then you ramble, and it's fucking adorabl- oh shit."

It takes Evan a moment to register what Connor just said. "W-wait. You th-think I'm-"

At that moment, the waitress comes back with his glass of ice water and sets it on the table. She looks glad to see he's not panicking anymore, at least.

When Evan has finished thanking her, he turns back to Connor, who's sheepishly handing torn-off pieces of cheese pizza to Abby.

"You s-said I'm adorable," he reminds him.

Connor shrugs, still not looking at him. "I mean. Sure. Like, uh, objectively."

"Oh my god." Evan might be dying. He thinks he can feel himself dissipating into oblivion as he drops his head into his elbow on the table.

Abby reaches over and pats his head aggressively.

"Um. Hey. I'm sorry for getting angry," Connor says suddenly. "I. I'm trying to. Y'know. Work on that."

"S'okay, I guess," Evan says into his arm.

Connor shakes his head. "It's not. I..." He sighs. "Eat your pizza, Hansen."

And, at a loss for what else to do in this bizarre situation, and with Connor Murphy and his cousin's kid both giving him those damn puppy eyes again, Evan sits up and grabs a piece of the hipster pizza.

"It's pretty good," he says.

Connor nods. "That would be the chloroform."

Evan nearly chokes on his pizza when he laughs at the same time he tries to swallow. The noise he makes delights Abby, who laughs brightly at him, which makes Connor smile softly— not just at Abby, this time, but at Evan, too.

His heart stutters when he realizes, and not in the familiar anxiety-way that always ruins everything. This is in the not-familiar, feelings-way, he realizes, as Connor tears off another bite-size piece of crust to hand to the eager Abby.

Fuck.

Yeah. Jared's really never going to fucking believe this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friend said, and i quote, "oh my god it's so cute i dislodged my contact lense," and then followed that up with "i represent everyone reading this when i say i will punch you if you hurt these boys"
> 
> this could maybe be continued, if anybody wants. just lemme know.
> 
> (EDIT: ok we're fuckin doing this. part 2 comin up soon)  
> (ANOTHER EDIT: part 2 is uploaded my dudes)
> 
> check out [my tumblr](http://theplatonicunicorn.tumblr.com) if you wanna scream about these gay tree-loving losers with me


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so gay yall  
> i had to up the rating bc jared is in it and he's a Mess
> 
> tw: q slur used once (but only by connor, to describe himself, if that makes a difference)

**J: i dont fucking believe this**

**E: me neither**

**J: THE connor muprhy took you on a date with his child**

**E: she's not his child jared**

**E: also *murphy**

**J: but no one else there knew that**

**J: and fuck you it's called a casual typo so i don't look like i care**

**E: does that mean you do care**

**E: and it wasn't a date**

**J: mmhmm sure jan**

**J: anyway**

**J: i need details**

**E: ??**

**J: details dude**

**J: how was the sex**

**E: JARED**

**J: oh cmon you cant say that after all of that you didnt even bang**

**E: after all of that we didn't bang**

**J: hes so gay for you tho**

**E: I mean technically I'm pretty sure he's just gay in general? So it's not specifically me?**

**J: he called you adorable you oblivious fuck**

**J: he clearly wants all that**

**E: all that what**

**J: dICK**

**E: Jared I swear to god**

**E: there was a child present and we were in a public pizzeria**

**E: and then he drove me home**

**J: and?**

**E: AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED**

**J: lost opportunity tbh**

**J: and you didnt even get his number**

**E: ...**

**J: ...dude what**

**E: ... he maybe asked if I would come over to his house tuesday to help babysit**

**E: and then gave me his number**

**J: what**

**E: and his address**

**J: i never thought id say this but**

**J: evan haNSEN YOU SMOOTH MOTHERFUCKER**

 

\---

 

When Evan knocks on the door of the Murphy house (which, Evan knew they were rich, but their house is fancier than the actual Ritz hotel) on Tuesday afternoon, it's not Connor who answers, but Zoe. 

"Oh! Hey!" she says, looking slightly frazzled, like she's in a hurry. "I was just about to leave. Connor!" she calls back into the house. "Your boyfriend's here!"

"Shut up, asshole!" Connor's voice says faintly from inside. Accompanying it is the sound of Abby crying. 

Zoe smiles at Evan pleasantly. "Have fun, you two. Alana and I will be back tonight, don't break any furniture and remember, there is a baby to be looked after." And with that, she pushes past him to Alana's car waiting in the driveway. 

Evan's not really sure how to react to that because Zoe Murphy just brushed his shoulder and smiled at him and oh my god, this is more interaction than he's literally ever dreamed would happen between the two of them. And she also maybe just implied Evan was about to have sex with her brother? But she gets in the car and leaves without noticing Evan's internal freak out, so he just sort of hovers awkwardly on the doorstep contemplating his mess of a life for a moment before Connor says, "Are you just gonna stand there or what?" and Evan takes that as his formal invitation to enter the Murphy household. 

It's way fancier than Evan's own house- obviously, of course it is- and that's the only part he feels comfortable with registering, because if he thinks about it any more he's going to start feeling really inadequate again and wouldn't it be great if he were just develop an inferiority complex because the one non-family friend he might actually have is so much better off than him, and—

"You have no idea how great it is to see you," Connor says gratefully, breaking off Evan's inner monologue death spiral. "Abby hasn't calmed down since Katrina left at 11 and I'm about to lose it."

"Is Katrina your cousin?" Evan asks, frowning at Abby's insistent crying even as Connor does his best to bounce her on his hip and rub her back. 

"Yeah, Abby's mom, sorry. She's got some, like, business meetings all week? So she's paying Zoe to watch her while she's gone, and Zoe's paying me that plus extra to take over so she and Alana can go make out in an alley or whatever." 

Evan raises his eyebrows in surprise. "I didn't know Zoe was—"

"Gay?" Connor supplies. 

"Into Alana," Evan finishes lamely. 

Connor shrugs. "Yeah, she denies it, but it's obvious. Well, to me. Our parents are... willfully oblivious." Abby lets out a particularly piercing cry and Connor shhs her soothingly. "I guess one queer kid was enough for them, they don't want to admit they might have two."

Evan isn't entirely sure what to say to that. "Are they...?"

"Homophobic, transphobic assholes?" Connor says. "Yeah, basically. Not in so many words."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean?" Connor snaps, and Abby screeches again. 

Evan takes a quick step back when he sees the look on Connor's face, but it quickly disappears. 

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you, Evan. I'm frustrated with them." He sighs. 

"...do you want me to hold her?" Evan asks tentatively, gesturing to Abby. As he does, she reaches back out to him, grasping her hands open and closed. 

Connor hands her over without complaint, immediately sinking down onto the couch and burying his face in a decorative throw pillow. 

Abby sniffles as she looks up at Evan, still looking miserable but at least not crying loudly anymore. "Is she hungry? Tired?"

Connor doesn't move the pillow, so it's muffled when he says, "No, she doesn't want anything. She's just having 'separation anxiety' today."

"Oh," Evan says. 

"I texted my dad and he said it's normal but he left for work before Katrina did so he's got no clue how bad it actually is and he's no help at all anyway."

Abby sniffles again, and Evan reaches for her pacifier. He hands it to her as a peace offering. She considers it, grabs it, and then hurls it at Connor. 

It's a throw with all the force of a particularly angry butterfly, but Connor still "oof"s when it hits him in the arm. He tosses his face-pillow to the ground and sits up to glare at Abby.

She glares back. 

"Be nice," Evan says to both of them. "W-what about your mom? What'd she say?"

Connor shrugs. "She's in a fucking cabin in the woods retreat with no cell reception right now. I don't have a clue what she'd say. And Katrina can't answer her phone til her break in-" He checks his phone for the time. "-four hours. All that's left to check is the internet, but frankly I think WikiHow is a fucking sham, so."

"Oh. Sorry," Evan says. "Th-that's pretty c-cute, actually. I mean, not that they're busy, just, the part that you care enough about Abby to want to make sure she's okay—"

"Evan Hansen, if you keep talking, I will throw this pacifier at your face significantly harder than Abby threw it at me."

Evan stops talking and feels his face heat up like it inexplicably continues to do whenever he's around Connor. "Sorry." 

"Seriously, quit apologizing, it makes me feel bad," Connor complains. "I'm already a terrible babysitter, I don't want to be a terrible friend, too!"

"Wh-who said you weren't a good babysitter?" Evan says. 

Connor raises an eyebrow. "Abby literally didn't stop screaming until someone who wasn't me started holding her. And babies are supposed to be good judges of character, anyway, so." 

"S-so?"

"... do you know what else my dad said, when I told him I was watching Abby instead of Zoe?" 

Evan shakes his head mutely. 

"He asked if I'd be able to stay sober until Katrina got home. He doesn't think I can go a single day without getting high!" Connor rubs his hands across his eyes. "I haven't smoked for a  _month_ , Evan, and he hasn't even fucking  _noticed._ " 

"I- I'm sorry, Connor, that's- that's really great, that you've accomplished that. I'm sorry your dad doesn't see it," Evan replies softly. 

Connor stares at him like he's sprouted a second head. "Seriously? Are you fucking- ugh!" He grabs the pillow from before and facepalms himself with it. 

Evan wants to ask what he said wrong, so he can apologize (probably more than necessary), but he looks down at the moment and realizes Abby has fallen asleep. 

He has no idea how she managed to do that, given that both Connor and Evan have been talking pretty loudly for the past half-hour, but he won't complain. At least if she's asleep, she won't be upset. 

He looks between her on his shoulder, and Connor on the couch. "Hey, she fell asleep," he says quietly. "I'm gonna- does she have a, a crib, upstairs? Or something?"

"Holy shit," Connor says. "How did you do that so easily?"

Evan shrugs helplessly. "I-I didn't really do anything? I guess she just w-wore herself out?"

"Her crib's upstairs in the guest room, third door down the hall," Connor tells him woefully. "Why can't I have your miraculous child-care abilities?" 

"Well, I've got two younger half-siblings, um, and I've looked after them a couple times. S-so I have a bit more experience, maybe?" Evan explains. 

Connor just groans into the pillow. 

"O-okay. I'm gonna... put her down, now," Evan says, and makes his retreat.  

He climbs the stairs carefully, just to make sure (because if he tripped and dropped Abby on her head or something equally terrible it would honestly be just his luck), and finds the guest room. 

As soon as he reaches the crib, though, Abby starts to stir. She lifts her head off of his chest, and he can immediately see her bottom lip sticking out to cry. Panicking, he does the first thing that comes to mind: he used to sometimes sing to his half-sister to put her to sleep for naps, and he hopes to god that that strategy works now. 

He bounces her gently and starts humming tunelessly, which evolves into a softer version of some pop song or another he's heard a few times on the radio recently. Thankfully, it seems to work, because her eyes flutter shut once again as her head conks back against his shoulder. He continues for another minute or so, just to make sure she's going to stay out this time, and then he gently places her in the crib. 

"I didn't know you could sing," Connor says from the doorway, and Evan's glad he had already put down Abby, because he probably would have dropped her in surprise at this point. 

"The f- you scared me!" he whisper-shouts. "You- you-! How long have you been there?" 

Connor snickers. "Only a minute. You were taking a while, I just wanted to make sure you hadn't dropped her or anything."

"Why would I do that?" Evan says, scandalized. 

"Relax, man, I'm kidding," Connor assures him. "Seriously, though. You sounded good."

Evan blushes (fuckin' Connor, why's he gotta make him blush so much?). "Uh. Th-thanks."

Connor smiles. "Yeah. Anyway, now that she's out, wanna watch a movie? We've still got plenty of time til an adult comes home." 

With a sigh that sounds too long-suffering for a friendship still in the single-digit day count, Evan nods. "As long as it's nothing scary."

"Why would I do that to you?" Connor asks. 

"Jared always does," he explains. 

Connor scowls. "Jared's a dick," he says matter-of-factly, and Evan kind of agrees.

 

\---

 

Abby has been asleep for a solid forty minutes now, and Evan's praying that means she'll stay that way without waking up again, or he may actually cry in frustration. If she wakes up, she'll be grumpy when Katrina gets home, and then she'll probably never let Evan help babysit her kid again because he totally ruined it and it'd be awful.  

Anyway. 

On the tv, the newest Star Trek movie is playing quietly. Connor is sprawled out on the living room sofa, his head leaned back on the armrest and his feet dangling over the other end, skillfully avoiding where Evan is sitting. He throws his arms across his face and sighs dramatically. "I hope this doesn't jinx it, but man. Finally," he says, voice full of relief.  "Abby's actually taking a nap, no one I hate is in the house, and Idris Elba is on my television screen. I can die peacefully."

Evan frowns. "But maybe don't."

Connor lifts his arm to give Evan a look. "You want me to die violently instead? I mean, if you insist—"

"No," Evan says quickly. "I mean I don't want you to die. I-I'd be sad, if you died."

Connor sits up. "Why?" he asks, and his voice is all-of-a-sudden weak enough for Evan to recognize the genuineness behind it. Connor really has no idea why Evan would give a fuck if he woke up tomorrow and Connor was gone. 

"Because you're my friend," he says. 

Connor shakes his head. "I talked to you for the first time, like, three days ago."

"That was almost a week ago now, actually," Evan points out, but Connor just frowns. "And also, I've technically known you since first grade."

"But we never  _talked_ , so that's invalid. How can we be friends?"

Evan shrugs. "Have you got anyone more suited to the job?"

Connor doesn't answer that directly, just waves a hand at him. "Whatever. I'm saying that's not a good enough reason to count yet. Why would you  _actually_  care if I died?"

Evan takes a deep breath and tells the truth. "Because then, who would brood in the hallways at school and show up twenty minutes late to class high? Because then who would tell me which pizza chains are too mainstream to eat at? Because who would threaten to throw me in a ditch after a date, and whose hoodie would I keep wanting to steal even though it's the middle of August? Who would complain about how his sister leaves him to babysit even though I know for a fact you love watching Abby? Who would—"

Evan doesn't finish that last one, because that's when Connor leans over and kisses him. 

"Um," Evan says intelligently, once Connor pulls away. 

"Uh. Shit," he says. "I don't know why I- um. Sorry. You can- just, uh, pretend that never happened."

In the background, Idris Elba is giving an evil villain speech. Evan just stares at Connor in shock. 

"Um," Evan says again. And then he notices something, and smiles like an idiot. 

"What?" Connor says, bewildered when Evan starts giggling. 

"I just- finally  _you're_ the one blushing. It-it's about time." 

In response, Connor flushes even more. "Fuck you, Hansen," he says, without any heat behind it. 

Evan hums. "Maybe later. That's m-moving a little fast for me."

Connor chokes on air. "What the fu-" 

Evan interrupts him this time, pressing his lips against Connor's firmly. Connor kisses back immediately, and Evan tangles his hand in Connor's hair like he's truthfully wanted to do since they saw each other in the park. It's just as soft as he thought it would be. 

And they're both a bit preoccupied with what they're doing, so neither of them hears the front door open, or the keys drop on the table in the entry way. In fact, they don't break apart until Zoe's voice calls out, "ALANA OWES ME TEN BUCKS!" 

The two spring apart immediately, equally embarrassed. Zoe smirks at them triumphantly. 

Evan is too mortified to speak, but Connor snaps, "If you woke up Abby, you're the one who's in charge of her for the rest of the day." 

As if on cue, Abby's cry is suddenly audible from upstairs. Zoe scowls. "Alright, losers, whatever. I'll go get her. But just be aware, the upstairs bedrooms are  _not_ soundproof, and I will not hesitate to break down a door if I hear so much as a creak, understand?" 

Evan nods, slightly intimidated, but Connor nonchalantly flips her off as she goes upstairs. 

"We're not- I mean, the bedrooms-? Are we-?" Evan stammers nervously. 

Connor laughs. "Don't have an aneurysm, Evan. No, don't worry. I don't know about you, but I wanna finish this fucking movie." 

Evan nods in relief. "Oh- oh good, okay, cool. I mean-"

Connor pecks him on the lips. "But I'm not averse to continuing later."

Evan grabs the throw pillow from beside Connor and buries his own face in it- not just to hide his blush, but his giant cheesy smile, too. 

 

\---

 

(later:) 

**J: yoU WHAT??**

**J: I DONT FUCKIN BELIEVE THIS**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck yeah i actually finished it in a sorta decent time frame  
> this was supposed to be posted way earlier but uh yesterday was sorta my birthday and i spent it getting a tattoo (courtesy of the aforementioned best friend from last chapter) instead of writing this so. oops
> 
> anyway i love my dead gay son and i love him even better when he's not dead and he's in love with evan 
> 
> have a nice day/night everyonee
> 
> check out [my tumblr](http://theplatonicunicorn.tumblr.com) if you like these dorks as much as i do


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so the reason this chapter particularly is so fluffy is bc I've decided I'm writing a sequel and making this into a series, and the next work is gonna be a fuckin Ride, so enjoy the fluff here and be prepared for death by angst in the next rendition of: the treebros tango.
> 
> warning: this is the gayest it's been so far
> 
> every single kudos and comment gives me actual life so thank you all so much for the support i love you all

**J: w o w**

**E: yeah**

**J: holy shit man**

**E: yeah**

**J: connor murphy,,,, kissed you**

**E: yeah**

**J: hoLY SHIT**

**E: yeah**

**J: ok stop saying that now**

**E: yeah**

**E: sorry I mean ok**

**J: congrats and everything but like**

**J: isnt that the wrong murphy sibling**

**E: you mean zoe??**

**E: well for one I realized we're better friends than we'd be, like, romantically involved**

**E: also I obviously realized I like Connor more now that I've actually spent time with him**

**E: and...**

**E: she's got a crush on Alana**

**J: well shit**

**J: you could have started with that one yknow**

**E: yeah I see that in hindsight that probably would have been for the best**

**J: youre a mess hansen**

**J: oh but now you can finally answer a question ive had for a while now**

**E: okay?**

**J: how big is connor murphys dick**

**E: JARED KLEINMAN**

\---

Connor texts Evan two more times that week to ask him to come over and watch Abby, which Evan gladly does. She's much more comfortable being left alone with them after the first day, which means Evan gets to spend time reading to her and playing dolls with her and teaching her to finger-paint.

And it also means that Evan gets to spend time watching Connor do the same things. His Barbie-doll soap operas are probably the most entertaining pastime, if Evan's being honest with himself.

"Ken! How could you!" Connor says, high-pitched in a terrible falsetto, as he flails Barbie around miserably. "That was the only sparkly purple limo I had, and you crashed it! What kind of husband are you!?"

Then, making his voice sound deeper, he grabs Ken with his other hand and says, "We were never really married, Barbie. I faked the papers for insurance fraud. I never loved you! I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the dog!"

Abby squeals happily and claps her hands at the ruined relationship before her, grabbing for the "wreckage" of the sparkly purple limo that Ken left in his heartless wake.

Evan watches from his perch on the side of the guest room bed, amused. "Th-that bastard. It was all f-fine until he took the dog."

"The ultimate unforgivable sin," Connor agrees seriously, handing Abby the limo with Ken and the puppy dog figurine sitting inside it. "Poor Barbie's left all alone, and she doesn't even know yet that she's pregnant with Ken's child."

Evan snorts. "Is this really the k-kind of storyline you should be teaching your cousin?"

"First cousin once removed, and who cares?" Connor shrugs. "She's not old enough to understand yet, but she'll need to learn young that life's a bitch."

"...fair enough," Evan says.

And then after they break for lunch, Connor digs through some old stuff in the garage to procure a few jars of finger paints, and declares an art contest.

"Pain pain pain," Abby singsongs gleefully as Connor sets the construction paper before her, and it's so unintentionally morbid that Evan can't help but laugh.

She immediately sets to work by shoving her hand into the red and green jars successively to make a dead-leaves brown sort of color, and smears it across the page.

Evan notices that she sticks her tongue out of the side of her mouth in concentration, and then when he goes to point it out to Connor, he finds him already hunched over his own paper, tongue in the same position. His heartbeat kicks up involuntarily, because that's the cutest thing he's ever seen, and to avoid saying something dumb out loud about it, he grabs the nearest jar (blue) and sets to work on his own masterpiece.

After about ten minutes of work, Abby starts to babble and gesture with brown-paint-covered hands, which they take to mean she's probably done painting.

"Let's see it!" Connor says, taking the completed artwork from in front of her. "Ah!" He turns it around to show Evan, and it's a collection of various brown, red, and yellow smears with hints of the green that didn't mix with the red peeking through.

It looks like someone threw up on the floor, and then made a finger painting of it.

"A true connoisseur of the arts will be able to see the elements that define a classic Abigail Murphy piece," Connor announces. "The graceful use of finger-painting techniques combined with an earthy color palette make this nothing less than a stunning visual experience!" He grins at Abby and hands her art back. "We're keeping that one on the fridge," he tells her. "And what'd you make?" He looks at Evan expectantly.

Evan starts, looking down at his crude drawing of a tree in a field, on par with the artistic abilities of a third grader. "Uh," he says. "It's, it's just a tree."

Connor frowns at him. "No, no, you've got to sell it better than that!" he says. "You'll never win the contest with 'it's just a tree.' Come on!"

Evan stares down at it. "It's, um. A green? Tree?"

Connor shakes his head in mock disappointment. "No. Watch." He takes the paper and holds it up the same way he did Abby's. "This next piece is a painting done by Hansen in his early career, when the minimalistic, almost childlike aspects of his work were most prominent. The combination of abstract technique and technical subject matter is simply exquisite. It's a real contender for top prize in this year's competition for a spot on the fridge." Connor hands it back. "See? Like that."

Evan raises an eyebrow. "Okay, then, Mr. Art Guy. W-what'd you paint?"

Connor shrugs with a self-deprecating smile. "Nothing as great as you two," he says.

Evan narrows his eyes at him. "Ohhh no. I-I don't think so. After all that—" Evan snatches up the painting Connor's hidden against the edge of the table, and gets his first real look at it.

He gasps.

There's no way this was done in the same timeframe as the other two, with the same cheap paints and with no tools except fingertips, because it's genuinely beautiful.

It's a scene of the night sky between tree branches, with moonlight reflected over a stream. The bottoms of the tree branches have light reflected on their leaves, and a slice of the moon is visible both between them and on the surface of the stream.

"H-holy shit, Connor," he says softly.

Connor looks flushed and embarrassed when Evan finally looks back up at him. "It's really not—"

"Don't f-finish that sentence, because it- it really is, okay?" Evan says quickly. "This is actually incredible Connor, es-especially for a finger painting? Wow. A-are you- do you do this a lot?"

Connor shifts uncomfortably. "I mean, I just draw stuff sometimes, it's not, like, a thing."

Abby contemplates the painting, and then promptly sticks a brown handprint in the center.

Connor considers it. "A masterful addition to a mediocre creation," he declares. "I think it looks better this way."

Abby nods in agreement. "Fid," she says.

"Yep, definitely for the fridge," Connor says with a smile.

Evan dies a little inside when he sees Connor magnet the three paintings to the fridge beside each other, but for once, he's pretty sure it's the good kind of dying.

\---

Abby lays down for her nap with hardly any fuss this time, thank god, which gives Connor and Evan some time to themselves without having to worry about a small human getting into something she shouldn't be. They finally get a break to do whatever they want to do together.

This means that when Katrina gets home at 6:00pm, she finds two seventeen-year-old boys passed out on the sofa with a baby monitor on the end table beside them, not quite entangled with each other but pressed close together, Evan's head on Connor's shoulders.

She'll wake them up before Larry gets home, she tells herself. That's a shit-show she doesn't want to deal with at all, even if she is leaving in the morning. She doesn't want to do that to Connor especially, or his friend. But for now, they look pretty adorable all snuggled up together, so Katrina grabs a throw blanket to lay over the top of them and sets a reminder on her phone to send them upstairs before 7:00 if they haven't woken up already.

She turns off the baby monitor so Abby won't disturb them if she wakes up and starts to cry, and then heads to the upstairs guest room to check on her kid herself.

\---

Evan wakes up groggily and finds that his face is pressed into something uncomfortably bony and sharp.

As he shifts to find something less uncomfortably bony and sharp to lay against, he suddenly realizes it's Connor Murphy's shoulder blade.

His nose is currently against Connor Murphy's shoulder blade, and as if that wasn't already weird enough, his arm is draped across Connor's middle and Connor's hand is resting on top of it.

Evan looks down at them for a second in shock, and then shrieks and falls off the couch.

This, of course, wakes Connor, who sits up deliriously to see Evan laying sprawled on the floor. "Evan?" he says, confused. "You okay?"

"F-fine!" Evan squeaks. "I'm fine!"

"Why're you on the floor?"

"Ah! No reason! It-it looked comfortable? I mean, no, that's dumb, sorry, I just-"

Connor starts suddenly. "Oh shit, it's almost seven, my dad'll be home soon. C'mon," he says, pulling Evan's arm to get him off the floor and dragging him to the stairs. "He really shouldn't see you here."

"Wh-why not?"

"Yesterday he gave me this whole speech about how no one would ever love me, I'm a shitty kid, etc etc. So it probably wouldn't be a great time to explain that I do, actually, have a friend."

"He _what?_ "

Connor shrugs. "He does that sometimes, no big deal. Anyway, just- come on, we'll hang in my room so he doesn't see you or anything."

"Connor, that's-that's awful, you can't just-" Evan says, but Connor glares.

"It's nothing new. Trust me, just drop it, okay?"

Evan starts to say something else, but closes his mouth reluctantly.

Connor sighs. "...Sorry. Let's just... yeah. Unless you just want a ride home?" he says suddenly. "I mean, that would make more sense, since Katrina's home now and I don't need help to watch Abby anymore and it's late and your mom's probably wondering when you'll be back..."

Evan smiles softly. "I thought it was my job to ramble aimlessly?" He shrugs. "My-my mom won't be home. She won't notice if I stay here til s-seven or three in the morning. Not- not that I'm a-assuming I'm invited to st-stay that long!" he adds quickly, horrified at himself.

Connor scoffs. "Evan, you can stay here forever, I don't care." Then he stiffens, realizing what he's said. Evan thinks he's going to take it back, to say it was a joke and that actually, he'll drive Evan home right now.

But he doesn't.

He leaves it there, doesn't say anything to contradict it. He just takes Evan's hand and pulls him up the stairs, gesturing to him to be quiet as they pass the guest room, and then hesitates for just a second in front of his bedroom door. He pushes it open and leads Evan inside, and he doesn't let go of his hand even after the door closes behind them, or when they sit beside each other on the edge of Connor's bed.

Evan looks down at their intertwined fingers and tries not to freak out about how his palms are probably sweaty, how weird Connor probably feels about this, how there's probably expectations in this sort of situation that Evan hasn't even considered, but also that maybe that wouldn't even be so bad—

Connor squeezes his hand. "Hey, I can pretty much hear your heartbeat from here. What's wrong?"

Evan looks up at him, panicked. "Oh, nothing. I mean, not really nothing, but like, n-nothing important or anything—"

"If it's bothering you, it's important," Connor says, and that alone makes Evan want to cry.

"I-I just," he says. "I just was th-thinking, a-about how it's r-really only been, like, a w-week since-since we— and I know th-that's really not-not that long, but. But I. Um."

Connor brushes his fingers across Evan's cheek. "You can tell me," he says softly. "I want to help. Is it- if it's something I did, I'll-"

"No!" Evan says quickly, "No, no, no. Well- I mean, no, you didn't do anything. It's just-" He inhales sharply, and decides he's just gotta say it. "I- Can I kiss you? Again?"

Connor stares at him.

"I mean!" Evan adds. "I just! It-it was nice, the fi-first time, and I just-"

"Yes," Connor says.

"I just thought, I really wanted to do it again, and that might be weird, I'm sorry, I know-"

"Evan," Connor says. "Yes. You can kiss me."

"Oh," Evan says, and then just sort of stares at Connor some more.

Connor raises an eyebrow. "Did you mean now, or like, in an hour, because I don't-"

Evan leans forward and presses his lips against Connor's. Then he pulls back just enough that they separate, and he does it again, harder.

It's nothing like the first time, when Connor kissed him. That was all innocence and chaste, closed lips. This time, Evan's the one who kisses Connor, and he holds nothing back.

He reaches for Connor like there's nothing else anchoring him to the world, like without him there, Evan would fade away into nothing. He lets go of Connor's hand to run it through his long hair, and without Evan even realizing exactly how it happens, Connor is pushed against the headboard with Evan straddled across his lap, their lips never breaking contact.

Evan kisses Connor like he needs it to breathe, and Connor kisses back like he can't quite believe this is happening but doesn't want to question it in case that jinxes it. Evan's hands are tangled in Connor's hair while Connor's fingers skim the strip of skin exposed between Evan's shirt and his jeans, and they're pressed against each other as close as they can manage to be at the moment.

From downstairs, there's the faint sound of the door clicking and a car being locked, but before Evan can panic, Connor pulls back just enough to say, "Don't worry, he won't come up here, I promise, don't worry," in a sort of breathless whisper, and then he leans in again to kiss Evan thoroughly and drive all the negative thoughts from his head for as long as he can.

In the end, Evan's the one who falls asleep first, trapped between Connor and the wall, his arms wrapped around Connor's waist tightly. It's a much more comfortable position than he'd been in on the couch, and he's worn out. Connor doesn't blame him, he's tired too, but he fights against his heavy eyelids as long as possible, just so he can revel in the feeling of being held, being cared about, being loved, and when he finally does succumb to sleep, it isn't plagued by nightmares for the first time in as long as he can remember.

\---

**J: so howd it go**

**J: ev**

**J: evan**

**J: evan hansen**

**J: ok so he either killed you or you two finally fucked**

**J: i need to know which one it is evan otherwise i might get worried and we cant have it look like i care**

**J: alright fuck it im just gonna pretend it was the second option**

**J: hope ya used protection kid**

**J: have fun w the morning after bs**

**J: text me if you need an escape ride**

**J: and i still wanna know the details**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll edit this when the sequel is published to let y'all know. you're wonderful human beings and you're the reason this exists <3  
> EDIT: it's [right here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065520/chapters/27326898) mofos!
> 
> check out [my tumblr](http://theplatonicunicorn.tumblr.com) to come scream at me about how unfair it is that we don't actually have any real canonical characterization for connor


End file.
